Monday, November 15, 2010

Playfully, Miss Hurd

If all your black and white pictures start to turn brown,
And the pastels of your portraits, they seem blurred,
And all your ships of sanity start to go down,
Won't you swim to me, Miss Hurd?

If your audience gives up their precious hours
To your fantasy so frequently reassured,
While the shadow from backstage has left you flowers,
Won't you see through me, Miss Hurd?

If all of the boys you coerced into thinking
Give you their journals, and their word
That they'll stay out on your porch all night, drinking,
Won't you come near me, Miss Hurd?

If your bitter clones ever dare to kick out your ladder,
While overhead flies a turquoise bird,
And you don't know exactly what is the matter,
Won't you fly to me, Miss Hurd?

If your sunbeams spin and sleep becomes a battle,
In which you dream of a geisha and her nerd,
While the keys to your romance begin to rattle,
Won't you believe me, Miss Hurd?

But if all your cherry blossoms start to turn grey,
And your delicate waters are disturbed,
And the tower that you're locked in starts to give way,
Won't you go sweetly, Miss Hurd?

Sunday, November 14, 2010

All The Way Through



I have wasted the best years of my life
standing proudly over all that I've done,
from blanket poems to bottled sunlight.
And I still haven't found the one.


Saturday, November 13, 2010

Christmas Time

“Do they know it’s Christmas Time at all?”

We ruined Christmas without firing a single shot.
There were twelve of us sitting at the round wooden table, with the rest of us somewhere beneath, making soft purring sounds and lapping at the air. The oak table was completely bare, spare the four inches of snow. It was our last Christmas Eve together and we had nothing to create.
With all the exhausted spirit of an eight-year old experiencing midnight for the very first time, we took to our feet like newborn giraffes. We had the foolish notion that our antics of the past would pull us through. The speakers, designed to look like rocks, were playing a muffled Christmas song. We plunged into darkness.
We knew we were somewhere we weren’t supposed to be. There are a lot of those places, after all. The hall grew colder as we pressed onwards, giggling at how positively clever and hilarious we were. But a school of fish changes direction at the turn of a head, and someone, don't ask who, broke into a run.
She gave weight to everything, and our talking and touching ceased; everyone quickened their pace through the hall. Propelling ourselves along, our separate bodies felt as one. We were a breathing, vivacious panther jumping from tree to tree; an illustrious jaguar in the moonlight. We had the eyes, the ears, the racing heart, the spring-loaded legs: and the tail, which I regret was myself.
Night guards came running out of their poker shacks. Sirens echoed off the narrow walls, pulsing ruby and jade. Everyone suddenly had a gun, and a permit too. The wailing woke the entire Guard, who came pouring out in snowdrift waves. I wrestled with a petite blond girl garbed in black— until in walked The Big Guy.
Not slim in any sense of the word, The Big Guy walked slowly around the room, eyeing every face smushed against the frosty granite floor.
“Well, look at this motley crew. Tried something you thought you could get away with?”
“No sir, we never thought we could get away with it.”

Sometime later they let us go; everyone scattered about.
I lagged behind. The whole thing was very sad, so with a vague sort of heartbreak I went to see William Carlos Williams— either out of respect for his condition, or a curious desire for his presence. We talked for a while; it was probably the best talk I've ever had. Out of nowhere he handed me a book of poems. I didn’t know if they were his poems or my own from the future, and though they were in a different language, I knew they were exactly what I wanted to write. Someday.
The clock was 1:17 am and no one knew where I was. I stepped out onto the snowy street.
I woke up on Christmas morning standing on the corner, clutching a book of poems I couldn’t read while staring at the sun.


Friday, November 12, 2010

The Listless To-Do List of Kaleb Worst

- Lay down with ice-packs on my face to heal all of the broken blood-vessels.

- Stop pretending to be good at social politics.

- Stop pretending to know what that word means.

- Dig a little deeper into my warm pockets for the bell-ringers.

- Be less hostile toward the ideas of my friend sitting to my right.

- Grab her by the arms and ask her how she is today, this week.

- Apologize.

- Refuse service to anyone, as I have the right.

- Watch the weather every morning and predict the future.

- Buy food not acidic teenage benzedrine.

- Attend class but probably not pay any sort of attention to the textbook stuff, replicated.

- Go to arts classes and pay every sort of attention.

- Quit being hurt.

- Don't let late night hours dwindle to action-strategy venues of super-fun.

- Remember the ducks.

- Turn that idling spider into eight-legged mulch.

- Apologize.

- Think of the road, think of that inexhaustible road.

- Listen more to the feel-good songs of, what, last week?

- Tell it like it is.

- Apologize.

- Find my way out of this groggy, snarky desert of ineptitude.

- Swim through an endless river of paperwork.

- Ask my sister how old she is when I already know the answer.

- Scale the grey facade of the Eco-Lab, to change it up a bit.

- Tear down the black cloud of applications covering the sun.

- Clean my room, all the Cokes, Vanilla, Cherry, Regular; Skittles, Mint Milanos, Saltines; Popcorn and Oatmeal bowls; Coffee mugs a bit untouched; insulted sheets and an overflowing basket of dirty laundry.

- Change my underwear, something a bit more festive.

- Find only the forgiving friends.

- Have only one modest plate at Thanksgiving.

- Apologize.

- Forget Christmas.

- Pray for Easter.

- Maybe find God, if I could get more sleep.

- Kiss someone, unperfect and perfectly nice.

- Apologize.

- Kill A Vicious Square.

- Apologize.

- Come up with something new before I lose my head.

- Keep it a secret, or keep something a secret, keep a secret.

- Un-write everything I wrote that went unnoticed by you.

- Regret, tremendous.

- Cut right to the very quick of my soul, with you there, ruining everything that was pretty much gone to begin with.

- Apologize.

- Pretend I know what every word means because that's all I have, y'know.

- Apologize for being everything.

- Apologize for being arrogant.

- Apologize for all this affection.

- Get a car and several dozen CDs, and go out and find everyone who has nothing to do with this list, pile them in wonderful and insane, collect the dimes for gas, and hit that fervent road, drive out of this grey city, into the browning fields, past the shivering cows and corn, between the drifty gateways of Denver, blast through the breathing desert, hit the bridges of 'Frisco, haunt the northern highway-mountains of California, pick up the Old Man and save him from himself, and skim that silver coast, hear the ocean wail and taste smoke at every cliffside road-stop, until we've hit the end, the end of it all, in that shining Astoria, find the beatest hotel and burrow in those rickety beds, and stay there until I feel like writing again, ever again.

Thursday, November 11, 2010

Footnote to The Jailor

I see you there, against the grey sky,
where you were once before,
laughing while the lighthouse gleams.
I'm sure this time you'll stay.
All the ashes of summer
have been dumped into the bay,
and so it might seem
that this was all a dream,
'till all our friends come to our door,
asking for their final goodbye.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

From Nine To Eighteen To Ninety-Eight

Elusive ebony-robed storyteller,
climb aboard the mystical 3,
and spin stupid tales of flying friends for me.
We can pretend that it's eight years ago,
and as far as we know, it is,
watching ladies peeling oranges from the
elevated safety of our window.
Let's write a novel, a damn good one, too,
about our reflective years which glimmer
when tilted under the flood lights
of Zachary Park, of South Dakotan fields,
remember walking the slopes of French Park?
Ah, silent friend, that wasn't you,
but it most easily could've been.
When was the time we laughed hardest?
This is a quiz, same as all the ones before,
our drinks always, somehow, lose their fizz,
yet together we just keep downing more.
What could be our latest thinking food?
And do you ever lust, do you ever brood,
over the glossy-eyed glances of nobody?
The tasteless lip-licking of the somebodies,
who have forgotten their sculpted ears
over the past three years.
Will we ever cross the isthmus?
Will it ever feel like candy christmas?
I get the feeling you're not excited.
Like the past is somehow gone for good.
But there's fireworks going off out there
and you're invited, and any time you
feel like leaving, you know, you could.
You're getting to that place now.
Where the world seems louder, somehow,
and you've got just as many things to say
as we did on our talk show, that Saturday.
See all your fantastical friends float
to the lavender spires in the sky!
I just have one more question for you.
Can you try?

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

And I Wonder And I Wonder And I Breathe

I would just like to point out that I
have never asked to take your breath away.

I wonder
why lamps never die.
I wonder
why there's always something else.
I wonder
how long seven months actually feels.
I wonder
about the position you sleep in.
I wonder
about the perfect strangers.
I wonder
about the quality of my sheets.
I wonder
about intimidating texting.
I wonder
about thick volumes people sometimes
love.
I wonder
about seventeen pencils.
I wonder
about necco wafer bones.
I wonder
about birds chillin' on the fence.
I wonder
when they'll come home.
I wonder
when the grass goes away.
I wonder
about zero.
I wonder
for tonight.
I wonder
for tonight.
I wonder
all over the countryside.
I wonder
on rolling hills that are
a bitch to walk over.
I wonder
on Coke and Caine.
I wonder
for the goodness sake
of the generation.
I wonder
for blood donations.
I wonder
about swimming leaves.
I wonder
about what you've read.
I wonder
about what you will never.
I wonder
something twelve times a day.
I wonder
about all the little marks
on the sidewalk.
I wonder
why no one looks up.
I wonder
for the well-being of the boat.
I wonder
for the sick child
but not the illness.
I wonder
for America's eating habits.
I wonder
if I eat too much.
I wonder
who thinks I'm cute.
I wonder
who thinks I puke.
I wonder
why I listen to what I do.
I wonder
what snow tastes like this year.
I wonder
who will speak at graduation.
I wonder
why my brother isn't team
captain.
I wonder
who is actually in charge, here.
I wonder
if falling asleep is the new cool.
I wonder
how much worse your paper
can get.
I wonder
what it feels like to be a man.
I wonder
about the escalator of today.
I wonder
about wetting the bed.
I wonder
about the days when for some reason
nothing gets you horny.
I wonder
who let me walk out the door
without a license.
I wonder
if my father knew I was calling
but didn't bother anyway.
I wonder
if there's a way to kiss away
what we barely remember.
I wonder
if I really have a voice.
I wonder
about the ingredients for sunlight.
I wonder
for the sake of elevation!
I wonder
for the six hundred jaywalkers!
I wonder
about your painted urns!
I wonder
about the required length
of my diary entries!
I wonder
if I even speak your language!
I wonder
who has seen the black water dam!
I wonder
who knows about the tedious stars!
I wonder
who feels the dark in the morning!
I wonder
who else tastes aluminum from
solemn weeks ago!
I wonder
who else digs their comfy hole
to put superficial wishes into!
I wonder
what else rhymes with the word!
I wonder
how old I will be when my
womb-confined sibling
feels this feeling!
I wonder
if I will have a little
tambourine boy of my own!
I wonder
about the little princess of May!
I wonder
what color her eyes will be!
I wonder
about the color of November!
I wonder
what the hell is so different!
I wonder
what the hell is so funny!
I wonder
what the hell is the if!
I wonder
why you don't say fuck!
I wonder
why not ever!
I wonder
why not forever!
I wonder
why you don't fuck yourself!
I wonder
why I won't fuck myself!
I wonder
if the floorboards listen
with cork ears!
I wonder
about the great big game!
I wonder
all those beautiful elephants!
I wonder
their skin turns grey in winter!
I wonder
for your pretty life!
I wonder
for all the pretty inside.
I wonder
if I could maybe
just once
take your breath away.

Monday, November 8, 2010

You Look Like Morning

"Baby, I have been here before,
I’ve seen this room and I’ve walked this floor." -Leonard Cohen

I ate dinner with your family on Sunday night,
which you know, you were there,
choking on the smell of sweet potatoes,
while I sat there with the green plate,
my favorite color,
wanting dinner to never be over.
Sundays are meant for escaping,
and I went chasing the faintest diamond
to arrive in front of your house, like so
many summer evenings stuck together.

We hummed harmonies while I paced
maniacally back and forth, kept hitting
that chair but never moved it, kept looking
straight at you but never showed it.
Right, I’ve slept in this room,
that’s what it is that makes me feel
at home. Nodding politics with your mom,
debating semantics with your dad—
Is soup a food? So many questions unanswered.
Like so many songs gone unsung,
trapped instead in the back-pockets of mimes,
trembling in the foyer, afraid to say goodbye.
They are the sweetest, the anonymous.
I am the evening wind brushing your arm.
The summer kite flying over your lips.

Your Vikings sweats,
your thick-rimmed glasses,
your unpainted toenails
made you look like Morning,
in every way as unprepared
as it is marvelous.
What I would give to be able
to wake up to Morning.

You looked straight at me
while loudly chewing ice
without even thinking twice,
while I took my time,
eating every last bite
of my family dinner
Sunday night.


Sunday, November 7, 2010

Timelines/If It's Meant To Be

I'm running out of games to play,
and it seems that the fragile day
is finally gone, and we're moving on.
I dream of all the girls I've missed
'till I've landed on the one I kissed
in this room where the world
does not exist.

You've got the answers
to all the questions I write down,
to all the perfection that I drown
in the hurricane of my mind.
And if it's meant to be,
then you'll walk away from me
every time that we
collide.

My nerves are blowing freely,
it seems this night has ended early,
but what do I know. Look out your window,
and see that I have come for you,
some things won't stop from feeling new,
and I won't let you leave until you've
realized it, too.

You've got the answers
to all the questions I write down,
to all the perfection that I drown
in the hurricane of my mind.
And if it's meant to be,
then you'll walk away from me
every time that we
collide.

Help, get these timelines off of me,
they're wearing me thin,
they're doing me in,
but for you I would smile again
and again and again and again and again.

I've got the answers
to all the problems that we had,
to all the nights when we felt bad
for forgetting all the
wonders we kept inside.
And if it's meant to be,
then you'll walk out of that door,
like every time before,
and you'll abandon me,
like every other time that we
collide.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

The Rest Of My Life In Yachats, Oregon

Bronze autumn beaches give in to foam,
dragging in sun kelp, and moon tides,
and whatever else the maidens tried to hide.
They welcomed me into their spacious room,
full of satin bed-pillows, soaps and tomes.
I recall that my urges were still in full bloom.
I found myself wishing it were my home,
mine to pilfer, devour and roam,
I found myself wishing it were my home.

I recall all the little things they said:
Things like, “Well, then all the better,”
and “If it’s not tonight, it’s forever.”
The evening swelled without warning,
toppling the thick marble of my head.
I wanted nothing to do with morning.
Yet they were kissing each other, instead.
They were neither joyful nor dead—
They were simply kissing each other, instead.

Silvery waves beat against the still night gong.
Quivering faces loom out of the window,
knowing full well it’s the only way to go.
Soon they were losing tooth after tooth,
spitting out the words to their favorite song.
I recall their final words of truth:
“You have done everything wrong,”
they sang as they swam along,
“Yes, you have done everything wrong.”

I recall standing with a furrowed brow,
watching them from the autumn beach,
which has since been flooded with bleach.
They were all I had and we knew it, too,
and they still got away from me, somehow.
I watched my toes slowly turn blue.
“I think I’m ready for the morning, now,”
as all my yesterdays began to bow,
“I think I really want it to be morning, now.”


Friday, November 5, 2010

Caffeine (Is Going To Kill You)

I said I couldn't get enough of this feeling
then I just threw it up everywhere.
I get queasy from even the slightest whiff
of coffee roasting in the air.

My tea is slowly coursing cold
as the windshield tastes the first frost.
And I can't see the road anymore.
I'm starved, quavering. Someplace, lost.

And falling asleep.
And falling asleep.
My Coke, I'll do my best to keep.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Any More?

Tomorrow will you crash my afternoon?

Or will my heart have stopped too soon,
pressed firmly against my fingertips.

I think from now on we just won't have lips.
And the flowers won't have petals,

their stems made out of precious metals.
I think from now on you won't have feet,

and instead I'll spit into the street.
I'd spit right now just to hear you protest,

but I know too well we won't be pressed
for time, clothes, who knows.

From now on I just won't have a nose.
My thoughts may never be heard,

not by the feather, not by the bird.
I spent the night tickling you on the floor.

But your flag isn't mine to wave, anymore.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

A Somber Shade of Blue

Two years ago, a century had been undone,
but Progress had won, and the bow of the ship
was starting to face toward the sun.

And then Dayton nearly lost.
And Bachman somehow won.
And Oberstar is no longer around.
And Prop 19 was burned to the ground.
And Boehner is the new House Speaker.
And Murray nearly lost to Rossi.
And Feingold was kicked out.
And Sestak was overcome.
And Mike Lee and Marco Rubio and Rand Paul are drinking tea.
And The Senate is white.
And three pro-gay judges were voted no.
And Dudley took Kitzhaber.
And LePage took Cutler.
And Scott sank Sink.
And Bennett just pulled through.
And Kirk turned Obama’s seat red.
And in two years,
we'll face around again.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Seven Ways To Say That We Will Never Get There

1.
We're already halfway to the end and there's no point in starting late.

2.
The bedroom's full of flies, sorry, the bedroom's full of flies.

3.
Look at the stars, look how they shine for you.
Shit, have you heard that song before?

4.
They're all out of ice cream at the local grocery store.

5.
[flapping fish sounds]

6.
"Do you think you could do me a favor?"

Well, that of course depends: First, whether or not your favor involves me going in or out of my way to bring you happiness, assuming it does, and if it does it better not be a subtle kind of happiness, one that I can't read in the lines on your face but see explode out to your toes and fingertips, into an overbearing hug; Second, if the favor you so desperately require is truly too much for yourself to handle, then perhaps by doing this favor for you, you can see that I not only care for you like the raindrops do for the leaves, but that I want you by me, at most hours of the night and certainly all hours of the day.

"Sure."

7.
"Thanks, bro."

Monday, November 1, 2010

Novembus Primus

Cotton candy cows
doing a jig
just before the
artificial sunrise!

What a stupid way to remember
the first of November.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Hollow End

They tell me it's Halloween tonight,
the streets are nulled with shivering kids
while crumbs stupidly fall off our lips.
I should have dressed like a fairy,
but instead I ache like a fallen
pear, dropped for an impossibly subtle
purpose. We're handing out my bruises
to all the spiders and cowboys, tonight.

Shudder.

The window's still open
from when I
aired out all the summer dust, hoping
that you would stop by for a holiday:
It is a holiday, isn't it? Or is it the
summoning of a gracious omen,
using the tossed aluminum and
rejected pocket-poems as a sigil...

What a sight!
What a night!
A lascivious prayer answered
when the rain has at last stopped,
A paragon of sunlight
floating before me, commenting on
how clean the bed smells.
Yes I know, I spent all day in here.
And then rummage through all
of my picture-books with a smile.
That's my dad on the beach, having a beer.
Then somehow find me,
once so far trembling
and now so far near.

And the torches of the kids
keep the room so well lit!
Cauldrons, barricading doorways
to keep jealousies at bay!
No one is going to call you anything
so long as the night carries on,
full empty nests and puppetry.

I'm summoning my omens.

But soon I'll close up the floor
knowing full well you won't make
an illuminated visit.

I've spent a year chewing through
your shifting lore.
And I doubt I'll miss it.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Nearly November

I admit that I think strongly of you
when I go traipsing
through street-side leaves.
I kick them until they fill my shoes,
because of something like you.
And already the leaves kissed
with crystal, I am saying goodbye
to the beginning for the last time.
Now is when thigh muscles freeze
like locker meat and jeans really suck.
I can't afford much more standing
around waiting for people to put
their coats on,
coats warm
coats cozy
coats closer than I thought possible.
All I have is this scarf,
it's orange and smiles a lot like your shoes do.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

A Poem That Could Go Either Which Way

You must cause a lot of accidents.
A lot of bird calls coming your way:
Tweet tweet. Wow I expected more.
No matter, the bells are ringing now
and there seems to be some confusion.
Children tripping across the street,
Bridesmaids streaming across the street.
All for some big event I should probably
be at, unless of course nobody is there.
You must tell me your name.
No, not the name on your application
but the one that I should use when
calling out to you in the spooky corn maze.
Surely someone must be out there.
Someone has got to be out there.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

A Vicious Rain

I will be upset if I get an A on that paper.
I would be upset even if everyone ceases to appear,
or if all my syllables produced laughter,
or if every letter plucked out of my shrink-wrapped
skull made you blush.
I would be upset if you ever wanted to talk to me.
(yesterday was a bad day)
This morning was slightly darker than some.
Mucky ponds reflect softened bricks.
Hidden staircase reveals itself unwillingly,
Chain-
Link Gate
C | l | o | s | i | n | g.
(so today must be a good day)
Corners of highway signs bent in,
the pissed-off wind inverting umbrellas.
Intelligent men smoke drooping cigarettes
under the silver belly of sky
stuffed with nutrients and razor blades.
(but mom, i say, i'm not pregnant and i don't have cancer,)
All of my fragile gifts have gone to waste,
and I can't even begin to taste
this hot chocolate for another twenty minutes.
By then I will have moved on
probably to a better drink that won't
scathe me for freezing.
(i'm just a boy)
My fingers are blinking back tears.


I'm looking for someone to blame
for all these hideous days of rain.
You fucking suck.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Hiding From The Day

The blinds were shut when I
woke up, so it was dark,
then I opened them up and
it was dark again. Thirsty lips
and quenched leaves. Drowning
wheels sliding in the street. A bird
flying out there but you can't see it,
and she can't see the ground, she could
be minutes from the moon and
she wouldn't see it.
The window's a droplet spiderweb.
The chimney's shaking, in fear, or cold,
it never really said. Turned off every alarm.
Rolled over.
Rolled over.
Rolled over.
Bit into the pillow.
Rolled over.
Then the coffee got cold and the oatmeal stuck
together like there was nothing else for them in
the world, but there's a microwave in this room.
Yeah, there's a microwave in this room.
Went shirtless until I had to pee.
Went smileless until I had to read.
Run down the stairs to ask when mom got divorced.
Try to remember how old I was in 1999. Give up,
Continue begging for praise via e-mail format.
Wonder if I'm missed. Then type "who gives".
Backspace Backspace, then a few times more.
Burn a hole into the bed, "I see you're putting
that new memory foam to good use."
Contemplate the properties of memory foam.
Will it remember me in the trash heap?
Who else, if not memory foam.
Hollow snacks. Cheap walks around the kitchen
to blow off some steam, harden some blood, find
the right state of mind required to compose
a social symphony. Thumb through a T.S Eliot
poem I tried to read, once.
What if the Internet hit an iceberg.
Broken branches backlash.
It's been raining for a day now and
it's painfully weak. It comes in buckets,
little small ones used by my sister to scoop
up nothing on the living room floor.
It ought to come in waves,
actual ones that sound like they're going
to crush the roof in. But never do.
Just some more rain food.
Just another busted gut.
Papers thrown about, marked
with the kiss of calamity.
And I just sent you a text
that was meant for myself
while you were sitting in
a theater watching what I
wanted us to watch ourselves.
Pour, Pour, Pour, Baby.

I spent the day hiding from the things you never say,
and I only wish it could stay this way.

Monday, October 25, 2010

Don't We All Hate Poetry

Your outbursts are stained glass,
and I know you mean no offense.
But you tore up all my works,
sprinkled them on the grass,
and haven’t bothered with
any of them since.

If you can't stand poetry,
how long will it be
until you can't stand me?

I wander home,
I wonder alone,
what it would take to break your rule.
After all, this is me, who you've known,
and not some pith spat from school.

How would you feel about poems
if they were written solely for you?
If they were dripped in honey,
something borrowed and tested and true?

I wish I could give it up.
I wish I could write a song
or dance along
with all you consider to be cute.
Hell, I wish I was mute.
Then I'd sit outside
on the bitter ground
and flail my arms around
to show how much you mean to me.
Maybe then you'd drop a coin into my cup.

In spite of the sting of your words,
I don't really blame you.
Because if I were to suddenly be you,
I'd hate my poems, too.


Saturday, October 23, 2010

Spectacular

Is there an opposite of a vortex
because I think you are one
and every time you walk
my lips move and every time
you smile you make nimbus
waves which purr after every
exit and whisper into my ear
after every entrance which
should show you by now that
I mean playfulness
but until I make obvious the
line I crossed on April the
twenty-fourth I guess for
now we'll just stand around
in a daze until one of us
motions for a hug,
and it was absolutely the best thing, ever.

Friday, October 22, 2010

Something Bright To Burn

The garden was full of something else
that wasn't toilet paper or granite:
something like crisped potatoes.
Or McIntosh apples.

Their eyes went all spooky
turning into massive windows,
and when I walked through them
I could only hear weak groaning;

Probably just a pumpkin.
Probably just a lost puppy.
I sat on that Probably for a
few hours, until the sun fell

(a pathetic orange crisp),
then fumbled around in the
dark looking for something.
I swear it was your hair

that I felt.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Just A Drop Of Your Exhilaration

You have an idea?
Good, then use it.
You have regrets,
you'll need them too.
I bet you make
the prettiest lies.
They smell like a
greenhouse.
Worm-like fingers
scrape the dirt in
search of words,
effervescent in their
emerald cocoons.
You have pretty teeth?
Well you'll need them
to gnaw the gems off
their stems, and don't
mind me, sitting here,
hoping for just a crumb.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Wear Purple

Six years ago, I imagined myself lying dead on the bathroom floor.
That image passed from me long ago.
I don't know much anything at all,
but this I do know:

"When the rain is blowing in your face
And the whole world is on your case
And you're dreaming of a better place,"

Think of the purple lilies,
think of the rich, golden-honey sunsets,
think of the overnight metamorphosis,
think of the expensive gourmet coffee,
think of the people you smile at in line,
think of the tender touch soon to come,
think of the ornate skeleton of snow,
think of the love made for your name,
think of those vivid dreams just before waking,
think of those who look up love in the dictionary,
think of how lost they must be,
think of the treasures you call yours,
think of moonlit walks on white shores,
think of golden talks in the midnight,
think of the twin you've never met before,
think of all the grandchildren yet to hold,
think of cold, soft hands,
think of laughter falling like leaves,
think of where your genie could be hidden,
think of the stars, and the way they wink at you,
think of summertime, when time is yours,
think of the places you yourself will choose to go,
think of the exotic animals and plants you'll eat,
think of the docks you'll walk at dusk,
think of all the secret places you'll discover,
think of who you purposely won't tell,
think of the family you'll hide in there,
think of their faces grinning at your wisdom,
think of their heads nodding at your hardships,
think of how they'll drink your salty tears,
think of the morning after the darkest night,
think of the way your cereal tastes damn sweet,
think of how brushing your teeth feels worthwhile,
think of how you look in the mirror,
think of how no one will ever be able to hurt you,
think of how that was then and, ultimately,
this is now, and now can never be forever,
and think of how, somewhere down the line,
It Gets Better.