for all the distance

you make me want to win

but i am sure that i will lose

this game if i keep placing

all of my x's before your

oh
those sky bright eyes

as you pass me by

so this is what it's like

being nudged by reasons

to do it over and better

so this is the madness

of getting glad

and this is the lens 

that imposes possibilities

dusk clears off the runway

of your shoulders

and the twinkling skyline
of your smile

do you see how i am

when i wrap myself 

in how i feel about you
i shiver with the best

of them and wonder
how i can keep quiet

when all of my bones
rattle a requiem for

the handful of seasons
i watched you pass by

what can you call it except a comeback

only the winners catch wind of it

it unfolds only for those with gusto

genius gets born in the thick of it

and the victors are the ones who let go

no thing like nothing

my gut tells me quit killing yourself
i say gut you can take more than
you give yourself credit for
after all you survived all those years
compacting honey bunches of oats
drowned in sweet cold milk every morning
and like clockwork you'd go boombastic
once i was on the bus
and the only way i'd make it
was by keeping my eyes shut,
as if i were asleep, as if i didn't notice

my wrists are like dude, what the fuck

my elbows cry out for elbow pads
where can i even get elbow pads
my bones have sounded the horn
that started the war between skin
and bone let's see who will win

i consume another 2000 calories

something's telling me quit killing yourself
what's it to me, i ask myself,
and i take my questions quite seriously

what's it to me

Captured

I adore your new life-crutch.
Such a shame it will be ground
into dust, too bad for us all.
My mood ring is going disco
as I sift through the slideshow,
jogging my memory
toward the flood of light,
hoping to find some truth
in the idea that maybe
you weren't all that bad.

Oh baby you were cool—
the way you wanted it.
Darling you were sweet—
in patches, and like a peach
there were bruises all over.
My queen you were kind—
when your curiosity slept,
or when you had the grace
to accept what was already lost.

Lighthouse of an old life,
every day that has dragged
me backward puts you
farther and farther away.
I feel close to myself,
aware of the angle
of my projection.
Whatever you were,
you had me—
and for that capture
I must take the blame.

I am free to be miserly
and miserable at my tempo.
It may take a while
to reach another shore.
I smother the flutters
in my stomach and beat
still my beating heart.
Whatever you did,
thank you—
and don't worry I'll fix it.