dirty lament

let me be clear
so i can sling mud
bravely

all over the face
quite over the fence
concerning concerts

and royal tents
and all the hullabaloo
i'm running out of

bits to chomp
and circling
the petting zoo

too nervous
to touch
too breakable

you must have known
that my spirit
is continually crushed

so it didn't hit too hard
when my day started great
till i remembered who i was

grainy days

the first sip of coffee
   drags out the ladder
           with a sigh

the lowest rung
    has me once again
           ascending, ascending

my penchant for clouds
       drapes me
   in a kaleidoscope of smiles

below the murky lake
       is being drained
 and there is a large shadow

lying in the bed
       the corpse
       of my conscience

ennui

The umber path unravels as I go.
Crippling payment of crippling loan.
This obsession to dismantle obsession.
This crave to carry my nation.

The wrong impression made permanent.
The past-dreams drained of pigment.
The smoke curling off my synapses.
The savage verdict of the committee.

Casting a line then taking a swim.
Refusing to play, yet hell-bent to win.
To hear laughter and take cover.
To take the idea as your lover.

This is writing off the introduction.
These are my bruises from wrestling with fiction.
It's the psycho in me that wants a wife.
It's the father in me that wants a good life.