ennui

The umber path unravels as I go.
Crippling payment of crippling loan.
This obsession to dismantle obsession.
This crave to carry my nation.

The wrong impression made permanent.
The past-dreams drained of pigment.
The smoke curling off my synapses.
The savage verdict of the committee.

Casting a line then taking a swim.
Refusing to play, yet hell-bent to win.
To hear laughter and take cover.
To take the idea as your lover.

This is writing off the introduction.
These are my bruises from wrestling with fiction.
It's the psycho in me that wants a wife.
It's the father in me that wants a good life.