Is This Doing It For You

I am a fun and outgoing person,
if failure's fun and the going gets
rough. Look at me dragging my
tongue across the plate of butter
and salt. Look at all these thoroughly
used tissues. How are you so undecided?
I am well-versed in justification.
I was born under an indifferent star.
I know my way around a promise.
I could vaunt this way all day!
Holler at me if you hate dogs.
I have a dramatic flair for detail.
Details, details, details!
How else can I convince you?
I take great pride in moving
my ass out of bed to suck
down a death-stick. I float
from job to job, none
cool or fulfilling whatsoever.
To quote my old sweetheart,
I'm a certified fucking loser.
No hook-ups, please.