Sunday, February 14, 2010

snowflakes on Our lips (10:37)

"i don't care if you don't love me. but i get out of bed every morning for you."

I’m trying not to use my mind, here.
Because it seems like it’s repeatedly
failing me.

i'm picking apart the pieces of this story
trying to find what's real and what's fake.

I have been real.
I have been real for a long time for you
And then I was the ultra real


i'm trying to find what i really think
and what i've just been telling you:
what i've been selling as the truth

And now I don’t even know what’s real
Or fake
But I won’t let it be a lie
Because then my life is a lie
And if my whole life becomes a lie,
Then what is it but the truth?


who the hell knows, now?
what the hell am i supposed to do?

I see flashes in my mind in the third person
And doubt that it’s me


shhhhhhhh.
you're the only one who knows
and you're obviously biased,
since they were in fact your lips.

I remember February 8th and May 16th and August 26th
But I can’t feel this happening at all


you say i can't hurt you

People are made of glass.
Their skin is too thin and it isn’t their fault
Especially me.

and i don't think i'll ever believe that
you're not made of iron—
But I’m no longer afraid
Because I’ve accepted that no matter where I go
No matter what I do

you're made of glass.
The 6th grader inside of me
Crying on the bathroom floor
Will live inside me

but i want so badly to trust you.

The least you could do is be the one who unlocks the bathroom door

or i want so badly to trust myself.

My heart tries to hide between my lungs
And I feel a sharp pain in the back of my head
And it’s only for a couple seconds before I
Return to smiling
or killing a druid or
Whatever it is that I do.


i don't know!
i don't know if i love you. i don't know if i want to love you. i don't know if that's what i want to do.
i don't know if my body loves you.
i don't know...

Do you?
Do you care?
Do you want to stay?
Do you want me to stop?
Do you want me to go?
Do you want me to look at you?
Do you want me to cry?
Do you want me

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