The Once and Future Dayspring

IV.

Tough if not impossible
to determine when
sex, sex, sex,
graduated from word—
sensual, abysmal sex—
to become world.

Tough to suss out
the use, the trial and error
of thought refuse.

The way it is,
we discover by feeling
without impulse to
duck or cover,
evading biological bombs.

Bombs!
They malign the surface,
unraveling in kind.
No one cares for their origin.
They bow, and blow up,
disseminating destinies
and popping brain bubble.
Does despair
deserve your attention now?

I dig deep
for the memory of when
blank became buck,
where beyond the touch
was another touch,
and behind the intrepid smile
another smile just as intrepid,
and livid licking of the lips,
what head-spin, what world
was I getting involved in?

Fire! For fuck's sake
you keep standing in fire,
your vision tunneling
deeper than the canals
of my crumbling capital.
You like the pain, 

the dwindling of your vitality,
you watch your life drain
and wait for someone
to join your party.