confession

(you are enough. you are enough for me. i am no longer searching. "battles are lost in the same spirit in which they are won." and love is found in the same spirit that it is lost. an aching, a bruising, an abjection. i lose myself daily to giving. what i deserve is unfounded. a projection. if ever i deserved it was what i wanted most. to help you. to land in this place and meet you immediately. what troubles you does not trouble me. what scares you does not scare me. not because i am stranger to trouble or fear. but because since meeting you, for the first time in a long time, i look to the future. even as the world collapses. i have found that fear of the future is better than fear of no future at all. i have found. no longer looking. sorry for my public plea. (but you know me.) i am reckoning with a document, full of flawed gestures of love. reckoning this document to forge a music equal to the easy symphony of our being. a document obsessed with the facts of flying. lighter than. sweeter than. so that if something were to happen. and things are happening. no stranger coming across it would ever doubt. that i love you, i love you, i love you, i love you.)