That's it I surrender!
I surrender to the newborn nation!
I surrender to the bozos! the brains!
to the murderers! to the manufacturers
of horse meat! to the hand that signs the name!
I surrender to the tumbling snow globe,
the rambling staircase and the nuclear snow!
I surrender to internet martyrs
seeking attention with no real soul
and the fire chief! the bailiff!
I surrender to Congress! the feat
of climbing the Hill!
I surrender to pepper spray, to harsh
winters! tight perimeter! bullets!
the pipe! the rope! the candlestick!
I surrender to Barnes and Noble!
to the military-industrial complex!
to censorship! pat-downs! plastic bags!
the head of the dragon! ruthless scales!
leather whip! gas prices up again!
I surrender to all the intolerance, guts,
bravado, lube, hypocrisy, fear, judgment
and high fructose corn syrup of the states!
the language of the world! history! poetry!
philosophy! chemistry! ballet! theaters!
beats! ballads! I surrender it all!
all the marbles, my hand-stitched hacky-sack!
my acrylic self-portraits! my scribbles,
my arrogance! my wall-plastered letters!
have it all, throw a gala! have my coffin!
my lean wallet! sure, a cigarette! sure,
this isn't easy! but hey, too much going on
to do anything about it! i surrender my
diligence, and i'm perfectly content to
dwindle in the shadow of my ego!
I like the staccato rhythm of this poem. One of my favorite lines is "I surrender to internet martyrs seeking attention with no real soul". One thing though, while it starts out in somewhat legitimate sentences and dwindles down to just punchy words and small fragments, I think the fragments go on a little too long and there's not enough balance between them and the previous, longer sentences. Maybe try and make your transition from one to other a little more stretched out, or consider shortening the short, fragmented part. I think the pattern of this poem is powerful, but it gets a little long-winded near the end.
ReplyDeleteLooove the mention of the high fructose corn syrup of the states though.